


checkered socks and hidden swords

by WishingTree



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, aka CAMELOT AND SOCK SLIDES, did i say this would make sense? never on my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 10:38:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingTree/pseuds/WishingTree
Summary: An accidental game of hide and seek, a hidden Arthurian legend, and one very disgruntled TARDIS security matrix





	checkered socks and hidden swords

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies

Spinning freely around the main console room, the Doctor hums under her breath, occasionally sticking out a hand to fiddle with something as she goes. She’d just dropped off Graham and Ryan in Sheffield for some event they had wanted to see – something about cars? She thinks it’s cars, but it’s equally possible to be pies – and Yaz had opted to stay behind, citing a chance for relaxation without the boys around.

The Doctor had been more than happy to oblige, and now they’re soaring through the Time Vortex again, alone together. 

Still humming, she absently reaches out for the mug balanced on the narrow ledge above the controls as she passes, taking a sip and then promptly spitting it back into the cup. 

“Oh, that’s horrid,” she chokes out, cringing and scrunching up her face with her tongue stuck out as she puts the mug back where she found it, if in a slightly more precarious position. “How does Yaz drink that? Eugh.” She pauses and makes a curious noise, muttering to herself, “Wait, why isn’t Yaz drinking that? It’s her mug.” 

The Doctor falls quiet, which is strange enough on its own even if there’s no one else around, but she also seems to be turning something over in her mind. It takes a couple seconds, and then the Doctor squints around the room like she’s seeing it for the first time.

“Darling,” the Doctor says to the TARDIS, still looking around, “I think we’ve lost Yaz.” She ducks down to look under the console as if Yaz will be tucked away next to her custard cream pedal, and when she finds nothing she straightens again and shakes the hair out of her face. “Yep. We’ve lost her.”

The TARDIS warbles, center pillar flashing, and the Doctor pulls up a display and starts scrolling through it. “Yes, I know we’re in the middle of the Time Vortex, but that doesn’t mean she can’t get lost!” The TARDIS whirs, and the Doctor crosses her arms.

“Well, it’s been 38 minutes since I saw her last, and 21 minutes since you were able to read her location, and that’s just too long, isn’t it,” she muses, tapping her fingers against her forearms in a way that seems a tad too restless. “But she’s not in any danger, it’s safe in here!” She thinks some more and then bites her lip, “Well, I mean… You’ll help protect Yaz, won’t you, old girl?” The Doctor tilts her head back and lays one hand flat on the console, and when the TARDIS whirs louder in response, the Doctor nods, an affectionate smile on her face. 

“Exactly. So!” she rubs her hands together, “Where do we start?” 

She tries to check the last registered location of Yaz within the ship, but it doesn’t tell her much considering how often the rooms rearrange themselves.

“Knew I should’ve installed that fifth gen oscillating microcore,” she mutters to herself as she scans the displays, eyes darting back and forth to look for some hidden bit of information. 

The TARDIS dings as she starts swiping through the different feeds, pulling her attention away from the screen with even more flashing lights, and the Doctor’s eyes widen.

“Oh, of course!” she exclaims, knocking herself in the forehead and running around the console to reach for the small rectangular piece of machinery hooked onto it, easily fitting it into her palm. “I’m just a proper dunce today, aren’t I.” 

The TARDIS chirps happily in reply, and the Doctor rolls her eyes with a huff.

“Yaz? Come in, Yaz,” she says into the end covered with mesh, knocking it a few times before repeating herself, and she can hear her voice echoing all through the TARDIS, projected down every hallway. “Yaz?” 

She waits a moment, and then there comes a hesitant, “Doctor?” crackling through the speaker.

“Yaz!” She clutches the device with both hands, “Hello, Yaz! You have a lovely name, have I mentioned that before? I must congratulate your mum for choosing so well when I see her again, Yaz.” 

“How – I didn’t know the TARDIS came with an intercom,” Yaz says, and the Doctor laughs.

“The TARDIS has just about everything, haven’t you heard? Beautiful ship. Now, can you tell me where you are?” 

Yaz pauses, and then she says. “It’s just… a room. The door sort of disappeared as soon as I walked in.” She hesitates again. “Stone walls, wooden furniture, set up like a showroom? Very medieval if you ask me.” 

The Doctor takes a moment to mull it over, and then she gasps loudly. “That’s it! You’re in Camelot!” 

There’s silence, and then Yaz speaks up again. “Is that – a term for some type of alien space thing?” 

“What? No! Just,” the Doctor waves her hands around, “Camelot. Don’t you know the tale of Camelot? Arthurian legend, Knights of the Round Table? It’s still told around in your time, I thought.” 

“…Are you trying to tell me that you have _Camelot_ stashed in your TARDIS?” Yaz asks in disbelief, “Like, the whole of Camelot? And I’m _in_  it?” There’s a shuffling sound, and then, “Doesn’t look like much, actually. Would’ve expected more.”  

The Doctor stops to think for a moment and then shrugs, bouncing excitedly. “It’s there alright!” 

“How… how d’you have _Camelot_  stuffed inside your spaceship? I mean, I know this thing is big, but it’s still a bit of a scrape, isn’t it? Am I in a castle?” 

“Well, not _all_  of Camelot,” the Doctor says distractedly as she flits around the console, pulling levers and pressing buttons and rapping her knuckles on one particular block in a jaunty rhythm, raising her voice so Yaz can still hear her as she moves away, “Just the important bits, really. The… the spirit of Camelot, you know how it is.” 

“No, no, I don’t actually know how it is,” Yaz’s voice calls after her as she continues to mess around, but the Doctor doesn’t pause, continuing in her ramble.

“Had to protect it. Promised Guinevere I’d keep it safe, so this was the best place!” She lifts her arms and shrugs, “My responsibility too, in a way.”

“…How do you mean?” 

Before she can answer, a light starts flashing on the TARDIS console and the Doctor makes a triumphant noise, slamming her hand down on it and watching as yet another screen pops up in front of her face. The TARDIS starts whirring in protest, and the Doctor shushes her apologetically. “Sorry, Yaz, I can’t let you out remotely. Camelot is very well protected.” 

“So well protected even you can’t get to it?” Yaz asks, sounding mildly concerned, and the Doctor immediately pops her head back around closer to the speaker, picking up on it.

“Just an extra level of security, nothing to fret about!” she calls out over the noise, “I may have been a bit too thorough with my encryption all those centuries ago, but not to worry! I’ll be there to get you out, quick as can be. Once I remember how to do it, of course.” 

The TARDIS makes an annoyed beeping noise, and the Doctor smoothes her hand over the console again. “Yes, I’m sorry dear, but I’ve got to break in to get her out! Oh,” she pauses, perking up her head and leaning forward on her hands, “Yaz, how did _you_ get in there? You managed to unlock it, obviously.”

“Dunno, I was just sliding around and then there was a door in front of me.” 

“Oh, _that_ was it!” the Doctor exclaims, snapping her fingers and jumping to her feet, “ _Now_  I remember!”

She can hear Yaz’s sigh of relief, and she smiles.

“I just need one thing first.”

 

\--

 

“Socks?” Yaz sounds bewildered, her voice now coming from the repurposed walkie–talkie the Doctor has clipped to one of her suspenders. The Doctor says something in response, but given the way she’s currently half buried in a dresser, it’s too muffled to understand.

“One more time?” 

The Doctor pulls back, spitting hair out of her mouth before exclaiming, “Socks! Need to find the perfect pair,” and promptly diving back in.

“How many socks can you possibly have?” Yaz wonders idly, not really expecting an answer. The space around the Doctor is a mess, a testament to the amount of havoc she’s managed to wreak in the short time since she’s been in here, and the Doctor wonders what Yaz would say if she could see it.

“Are you going to tell me why you need socks all of a sudden?” 

“Ah–hah!” Triumphant, the Doctor stumbles backwards and waves her fist around, a pair of checkered socks clutched in her hand. “Sock slides! The key is sock slides, that’s what I was missing!” She kicks off her boots and sits down right in the middle of the floor to change into the socks, wriggling excitedly. “Haven’t been in that room since I sealed it off.” 

“Sock slides?” Yaz repeats, and the Doctor bobs her head enthusiastically before remembering that Yaz can’t see her.

“Yep!” 

“So, what, you slide across the hallway in socks and the door opens?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Yaz!” the Doctor chides, voice cheerful, “It’s obviously more complicated than that. I created it to withstand even the most experienced codebreakers, after all!”

“So… you slide across the hallway in socks and the door opens?”

“You have to slide across the hallway in a _very specific pattern_ , and then…” she blinks, “Well, yes. The door opens.” 

Smiling at the sound of Yaz’s surprised giggles, the Doctor balls up her old socks and tosses them towards a laundry hamper sitting in the corner of the room.

“Now, let’s get you out of there, shall we?” 

 

\--

 

Yaz smiles as she listens to the sounds of the Doctor shuffling around on the other side of the intercom. She hadn’t been worried when she’d found herself stuck in this strange room, not really, but it’s still a relief to know that the Doctor is on her way.

“You alright?” Yaz calls out again, patiently crossing her legs as she waits. She’d dragged one of the tall chairs away from the table to sit next to the intercom, none too keen to keep standing in one spot, and the Doctor yells back a confirmation. There’s another muffled whoosh of air and a thud, and she takes that as a no. “Are you sure – ” 

“Got it!” the Doctor yells, and then a moment later there comes the sound of something smacking directly into the wall, followed by that of a body collapsing onto the floor. Yaz winces, but the Doctor is quick to come back on the line. “Totally fine!” 

The door suddenly materializes again, right next to her elbow, and Yaz jumps back in surprise, letting out a delighted sound when it slides open to reveal a slightly disheveled Doctor, checkered socks on her feet and sonic in her hand.

“Doctor!” she exclaims, and doesn’t even think before tackling her in a hug, throwing her arms around her neck. The Doctor returns it exuberantly, wrapping her hands around Yaz’s waist and squeezing her tight, and Yaz presses a smile into her hair. “It’s about time you found me.” 

“‘Course!” the Doctor beams, “Can’t go around without my favourite Yaz, could I now?” 

Yaz blushes despite her best efforts, letting go and stepping away, and she turns back to face the room in an attempt to hide her face.

“Ah, I see you chose Lancelot’s chair,” the Doctor praises, one hand tracing the letters carved into the back of Yaz’s chair, “Good choice, that! She’d be proper chuffed to know that, Lance.”

“Lancelot? Wait, _she_?” Yaz shakes her head quickly, “You mean, this is… The round table?” she asks, eyes wide as she looks over the massive table taking up most of the room, and the Doctor nods. “It’s here?” 

“And the six-point looking glass, nobody ever gets excited about that one. Never in the stories,” the Doctor sounds put out, pouting over at where it’s leaning against the wall, and Yaz pats her on the shoulder.

“That’s the best bit though, over there,” the Doctor directs her attention to an opening she hadn’t noticed before, half covered by a draping curtain.

“Oh, there’s more?” 

The Doctor nods eagerly, altogether oblivious of the way Yaz’s heartrate has sped up as she grabs Yaz’s hand and drags her over. This next room has suits of armour lining the walls, all complete and stood at the ready, and Yaz peers at them apprehensively for a moment before turning to the centre. There’s a massive grey boulder set there, smooth and weathered with age, and it has a sword sticking directly out of it, embedded deep in the stone.

“Is that… Excalibur?” she whispers in astonishment, using her other hand to grab the Doctor’s same arm, and the Doctor rocks up on her toes, nodding so fast her hair is falling into her face. “I thought – wasn’t the sword passed to the Lady of the Lake or something? In the legend.” 

The Doctor raises an eyebrow, a pleased expression on her face as she sways to knock Yaz’s shoulder with her own. “The TARDIS can travel through time and space, spending a little time underwater doesn’t phase it at all. Isn’t that right, old girl?” She addresses the last part to the ceiling, and Yaz laughs when a horrible scratching noise comes through the speakers. “Okay, right, well, fine! It wasn’t entirely on purpose, if you must know. There was a bit of an incident, and then, well, we were in the lake. Figured we’d make the most of it!” 

“ _You’re_ the Lady of the Lake?” Yaz laughs as soon as she says it, not needing to see the Doctor’s eager nod. She should really stop being surprised by stuff like this.

“Nipped out afterwards to grab the stone as well, and then just stuck the sword back into it. Nobody’s getting it out now! Not even if they wanted to, unless they’re deserving of the title."

“Oh, so it’s like Thor’s hammer, then? Only the worthy can lift it?”

“Exactly!” the Doctor beams at her, “Powerful artifact, that one. Don’t think I could move it anymore either.” 

Yaz tilts her head to the side as she drifts closer to the sword. “What d’you mean, anymore?”

“Oh, funny story, that! Last time I was there I may have accidentally pulled the sword out of the stone, you know… by accident. Without meaning to.”

Yaz turns to stare at her, eyes wide. “…Are you trying to say you’re also the bloody king of Camelot?” A grin spreads across her face as obviously as she tries to fight it, and the Doctor hums. “How many roles can you have in the same legend?” 

“Yes, well,” she spins around with a flourish, coattails whipping around her legs as she throws up her arms, “We’ve all had those days! Now, we should probably get out of here and lock it up proper again, but – ooh, look at that,” she distracts herself, stepping over to fiddle with a tapestry. “Coming, Yaz?” she calls over her shoulder.

Across the room, Yaz is still quietly examining the sword, poking at it with curious fingers. Something is drawing her to it, and as the Doctor continues to mess around with something behind her, she tentatively lays her hand on the pommel of the sword and wraps her fingers around the handle, adjusting her grip.

Just as she gets ready to try pulling it up, just to see what will happen, there’s a mighty crash and a series of metallic clanging as every single suit of armour in the room gets knocked over in a row, causing her to let out a yelp. She jerks back in surprise, letting go of the sword and spinning to see a sheepish Doctor standing in the middle of the mess, and then she laughs and bounds over to help. 

She doesn’t turn back to look at the sword, and she doesn’t see the way it’s now sticking out several inches higher than before, a result of the unconscious way she had yanked it at the noise, the movement completely reflexive. 

She doesn’t notice it.

But it’s moved all the same.

 

“Come on then, Doctor, I think we’ve caused enough trouble in Camelot for the day. Or should I say Your Majesty?” 

“Nah,” the Doctor wrinkles her nose playfully, “Much prefer ‘Doctor’ to ‘King’.” She tilts her head to the side and considers Yaz, reaching out to brush a finger across her cheek. “You’d make a marvelous Queen though,” the Doctor says it earnestly, the look on her face so genuine that Yaz is rendered speechless for a moment, and as she tries to stammer her way through an answer the Doctor links an arms through hers and starts marching them towards the door. “Queen Yaz! I like the sound of that.”

Yaz laughs shakily. “Well, maybe one day, eh?” 

“One day,” the Doctor agrees, and they let the door fall shut behind them, closing off the sword in the stone once more 


End file.
